ONLY THE BLOG KNOWS BROOKLYN RESTAURANTS: Best Burger on Fifth Avenue

Stone Park Cafe.   324 Fifth Avenue at 3rd Steet. Park Slope. (718) 369-0082
Jhinuk.   478 McDonald Avenue. Kensington. (718) 871-5355

by Paul Leschen

A few hours ago I ate a most delicious hamburger—so scrumptious, in fact, that I can’t sleep because I’m still thinking about it. The taste and texture linger on my palette; its likeness fades in and out of my train of thought as if I’d just attended a loud, inspired rock show. This was a twelve-dollar, oversized mound of thick, soft, buttery angina-inducing pleasure. The edge of the meat was pleasantly salty, and the thing was crowned with some of the best bacon in the borough. Oh, burger Gods of Park Slope, do not frown upon me and my chopped-meat prognostications. I know I have worshipped at the alter of Bonnie’s Grill for many years, and that I should be humble and always root for the underdog. But Stone Park, the new darling of the neighborhood (though some have complained of friendliness issues and high prices), serves a –mean- -ass- burger.Whew.

I got mine with cheddar cheese, bacon, and mushrooms, and suggest you do the same. Bleu cheese might be too fussy, but go right ahead…just don’t get it without the bacon. And be mindful that rare means rare here, apparently, although I fear not that my brain will turn to porridge. I didn’t ask (I know it’s unprofessional to speculate but I was too busy eating) but I’m assuming their meat is ground in-house. It had a fresh, clean taste, with just the right amount of fat...continued...

The burger across the street at Cocotte is pretty good, too; it’s bigger than Stone Park’s, and it too is made with a high quality beef. But the meat at Cocotte is too lean, and as such, it wasn’t overly juicy or flavorful. I had been told it could be served with Gruyere, but I was only offered Swiss. The fries, on the other hand, were Belgian-style and flecked with fresh herbs and, along with a great glass of house Cote du Rhone, made up for the burger’s minor deficiencies. All told, a nice burger, but Bonnie’s is runnier and has the advantage of being charred and spiced, and Stone Park has both of them beat.

Mind you, Stone Park is no burger joint; people will stare if you wipe your mouth with your sleeve and your hands on your slacks. Most entrees here are in the $20 range—though I’m looking forward to going back for a more elaborate meal once I get that record deal or a nice temp job.

The clientele last night was predominantly clean-cut, and blonder than the usual Brooklyn dinner crowd. Now I don’t mind blondes, I’ve even been known to chase them with little success. But occasionally I want to surround myself with dark-haired, mustachioed men from Bangladesh. Which is why (alright, it was the eternal quest for cheap, delicious lunch) I found myself down around the Church Avenue F stop, in a broken-hearted part of town (no offence to Kensingtonians, but that block of McDonald Ave. south of Church Ave. is a real tear-jerker.)

Out of the three Bangladeshi places down there, my friend and I selected Jhinuk, a bright new steam table joint playfully decorated in the style of the 42nd Street 7-train station. We ordered up a storm—curried lobster, a vegetable sampler plate (all the veggies looked great), a small order of tandoori chicken, a naan, rice, and two samosas. The food wasn’t stellar, but it was adventurous, the vegetables were as tasty as they were fresh-looking, and the chicken was smoky and tender. When we went up to pay the bill, the man behind the counter rang up our entire lunch for less than thirteen dollars. You can’t even eat at Taco Bell anymore for that price, and we were eating (small, overcooked) LOBSTER!!!